Dee walked quietly, almost totally silently, down the white sanded beach, her little hooves dragging behind her in exhaustion. She did not hear the waves, nor did she feel the brightness of the clear blue shy. She felt only a dull empty hole in her heart.

It had been nearly four months since she had lost her foal to death. She had no idea what had become of him, but she was sure that death had had it's prize by now. Her poor little Amir. Amir Aureliano, Golden Prince.
A tear rolled down her cheek, trickling down a once bright coat, glimmering in the hot sun.

It was unusual for one to see the once bright and flashy mare in such low spirits. Her back and crest burned, the skin flaking away in places to leave the pale pink skin exposed, and her mane and tail were no longer long and graceful. Mats and tangles filled them, and her white markings were stained brown. But Dee had not been paying attention to any of those problems.

He had run away. He had made his own choice, it was what he had wanted. He had not wanted to be an evil demon like his father, nor had he any plans on being his mother's mistake. He had simply run away from his problems, searching for a solution he never would have found.

Shaking her head, Dee glanced around her through clouded brown eyes, not noticing the tall stallion who stood not too far out in the waves, enjoying the coolness of the water.

Stopping, she lowered her head and snuffled half-heartedly at the sandy ground, closing her eyes, trying to dry the tears that had not yet stopped. She had let go of it all, forgotten everything. Now, the only home she knew was in the shade of the palm trees, solitary confinement.

Oh, God. I can't go on like this...

Her voice was raspy, and on who had previously known the young mare would have easily mistaken her for one much older. Her emotions tumbled out as she stood in the middle of the beach, head down, eyes closed.

The little mare didn't so much as look up as the deep voice approached from beside her. She knew who it was, she didn't need to look, so why waste energy moving?
The tall stallion grazed his muzzle along her back, and Dee flinched in pain, trying not to make it look as if she didn't want his company. As little as she showed it, she felt slightly more able around him.

Oh Dee... You were such a beautiful, vibrant horse. What is making you so ill?

Titanium nuzzled her chin, and slowly tilted her head up so that she was facing him.
Her eyes flitted open, and she slowly turned her head around, her expression sorrowful and empty.
She opened her mouth slowly, taking a long breath before speaking one lonely word, the harshness and the coolness in her voice startling even herself.

Amir.

She hoped she wouldn't have to say anymore. She hoped that he would understand. Not only did it rasp her throat irritantly, but she was shocked that she might snap at Titanium if she couldn't control her emotions.

The soft thud of lighter hoof beats broke the stillness after her word, and Dee's ears twitched backwards at the sound of a soft whinny of welcome.

Sighing Dee closed her eyes, leaning against Titanium's strong shoulder as she rested, her tired legs bracing out on either side of her frail bodice.

@Silver: Yah, but barely, poor dude. I didn't like him being so inactive while Mary's away, so I made a post in the Hangout where he is only a few days old, :P.

You need to move on, Dee. He chose his own way.

Dee looked up at him slowly, blinking after he did, sadly. His words hurt her, not because of him, but because she knew that he was right. He had decided on his own, and nothing that anyone else had done would have ever affected his decisions at the time. If he had been forced to stay, his life would have been long, but without a meaning, born to serve his father, no doubt.

She said nothing for the few moments that followed, simply at a lack for words. She knew that she hadn't been taking care of herself as much as she should be, and she needed to change that before it had consequences.

It's ok, Dee, things will get better.

In time, she finished the sentence the way she felt it should be phrased, tilting an ear halfheartedly as Titanium whinnied his response to Summer. It warmed her that he was still beside her, even when he could have willingly gone over to greet his mate. That gave her the boost she needed to speak up, and though still quiet and raspy, it had a life that hadn't been there earlier.

Thank you, Titanium. I'm being such a baby, I need to grow up.

She said, trying to play a smile on her cracked lips, even though it pained her.

Lifting her head, she attempted for the second time to put a brighter expression on her face, twisting the very tips of her lips upwards awkwardly. It pained her at the fact that such an expression should be so hard to accomplish, when just a few months ago it was a 24-7 deal with the bright little mare.

Dee... is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?

Turning to face Summer, her eyes brightened somewhat. She hated this feeling, the feeling that she needed help, and she really wanted to get through this on her own. To snap out of the black hold that was threatening to eat her.

No thanks Summer. I don't really think that anything is going to do me much good at the moment. At least, nothing that I don't have to pull through and accomplish myself.

On the plus side, and Dee was sure it had been the only plus with this traumatizing experience, she felt that she had learned many things that she wouldn't have just over a year ago, when she had felt much less mature and clueless.

Dee, you have a right to feel this way...

She shook her head sadly, somewhat in agreement, though deep down she knew that the only escape she had from a miserable end to her life was to move on, to start all over. To forget about Amir and Acclimation.

If you really want to, I can try and find him. I could try and get him to come back for you.

Truthfully, that was the last thing that Dee had been hoping for anyone to say to her. She knew that she had already had to face the horrible truth; that he had either died from lack of proper nutrition, that he had managed to find another source of milk, or worse yet, had found a twisted way to end his life on his own.

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes in deep thought, tears threatening to trickle out at any moment. Using all her strength, she held them in, waiting a few moments before taking a deep breath, looking back up at Titanium bravely.

I don't know how in the world you would be able to find him, but it would really mean a lot to me, just to know that he is still alive.

She was conscious of them speaking to her, gentle and caring, but deep down she knew that it was her fault in the first place, and she should be wasting Summer's and Titanium's time with her sulking.
Titanium had offered to help though, and if he honestly wanted to help her, even after all she had put him through, than Dee would accept that greatfully.
After she had a hold of herself, she lifted her gaze to meet theirs.

I wouldn't know, he just ran away, and I don't know where he would have gone. Though he probably wouldn't have made it very far out of the Pad.

She said, her voice starting to return to her dried lips as she thought about it being possible that her colt was still alive. Perhaps someone had found him and had taken him in; perhaps not. Perhaps this whole search would be wasted time for them. But now there was a glimmer of hope in the young mare's heart, and for the first time in months, her eyes held that sparkle that a mare her age should have.

We should look there.

She said suddenly, lifting her head, though even though she wanted to do so, she was weak and was able to hold it only long enough to meet Titanium's gaze.
Her voice held determination and hope, but she warned herself not to get worked up over nothing, just in case they couldn't find him.